Jareth and the Goblin Queen
by KillforKlondike
Summary: Differences between the goblin races are: 1 some can listen to music and not want to jump off the nearest cliff. 2 some can wear tights and feel no shame. 3 some wear shoes that are dangerous to other goblins' health.


I was looking through what I have and have not made stories for, and I found my little document that I write the little comparisons I've made between movies. I figured this could be my chance to create…dun dun dun, a cross-over!

This is a gift to all the people who've been waiting to hear from me. Consider it reassurance that I haven't croaked yet.

So here is a little experiment I'm trying with this piece: normally, I am under the influence of music. But I'm switching the ear buds around to stimulate the right-side of my brain. I wonder if this will influence it any. P.S. I'm listening to Yozora no Kawa by Okiayu Ryoutarou (aka Byakuya Kuchiki's voice from Bleach)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own crap.

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Goblins. Oh the things we can say about goblins. And the many things we can agree on between each group. Generally, they are ugly and like to mess with humans. But on the subject of music, where can we agree?

Jareth stood in his throne room, surrounded by his goblins, seeming fairly happy to be there even if Sarah wasn't. Of course he had been singing about her, but that didn't need to be said to be obvious. Just don't tell Sarah or he'll be embarrassed.

"What kind of goblin are you?! Obviously not a very self-respecting one!" A voice came from across the room. There stood one of the _ugliest _goblins Jareth had ever seen. She wore dingy skins from animals and strange-looking stone shoes, which clicked as she walked closer to the king.

"And who, my most remarkably disgusting woman, are you?" Jareth shot back as he looked on the she-thing. She stopped just in front of him and looked him in the eye. "I am the Goblin Queen."

Oh Lord almighty. Or, if you're Sarah, this isn't fair!

For people that are confused: there is a difference between being King of the Goblins and just being the Goblin King. Jareth= King of the Goblins. Goblins, or at least most in Jareth's kingdom, had nothing against a little singing and dancing. With a king like theirs, they had to. Others, like those that lived under the mountain with this thing *insert shudder here*, that consider themselves real goblins, couldn't stand to hear even a single note. Needles to say, there were clashes between Jareth and the others.

"What real goblin sings and dances about while dressed as you are?" The goblin queen asked disdainfully as she looked over his outfit, eyes lingering on Jareth's **COPYRIGHTED-SUPER-TIGHT-CERTAIN-TO-RIP-IF-YOU-MAKE-THE-WRONG-MOVE-SO-DON'T-YOU-DARE-BREATHE **tights.

"Well, my dear Hag Queen, _this _at least is fashion. And what about those mangy furs you're wearing. Did you decide in the middle of your meal you were cold?" She bristled at him and said some goblin words that I can't repeat for this rating, and spit on the ground.

"You can shut up you poor excuse for a goblin king! If you were in that ridiculous owl form I would've made you into a hat already!"

Jareth proceeded to follow up her statement with a smack in the head with his riding crop.

Which she paid him back in full with a kick to his crotch.

Considering the fact that she was wearing **stone shoes**, he dropped like a bag of bricks from the fortieth story floor.

`~Some restaurant in the human world~

Sarah, who was currently sucking dry an orange slushie, shot up in her seat and snorted, almost drowning herself in the process. She coughed up the inhaled slush and began to laugh. Her friends, that had before been watching her try to break her record time for slush-consumption, were fairly disturbed.

When she calmed down she wiped away tears that formed in her eyes and smiled at them.

"Sorry, but I just get the feeling that someone I knew once just got **exactly **what he had coming."

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I know, not my greatest work, but I tweaked some of this from its original form, so this is actually better. Or at least it is in my opinion. Please rate and review so I can get an idea of what you think of it.

Thanks for reading!


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